"Loving the Little Years" Book Review

Sometimes I come across a book that is so good that before I have even finished reading it the first time, I am planning on reading it a second.

Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic was one of those books.

There are so many reasons this book is perfect for the mother of little ones:

• The chapters are short and sweet.  Sit down, nurse your baby, read a chapter, and then get back in the trenches.  No "do I pretend to nurse a little longer even though the baby is milk drunk so I can finish this chapter?" worries with this one.
• The subject matter is real.  This is not one of those books that makes you feel like a bad mother who will never add up.  It is also not one of those books that makes you feel like you need to make a to-do list of all of the things you need to change.  Jankovic is a real mother with real children and real life messes.  The awesome thing, though, is that she has a really great outlook on mothering in the midst of those messes.  She will not tell you how to organize your laundry.  She will help you put the laundry as a priority after nurturing the hearts of your children.  I love that!
• The cover of this book has spaghetti stains on it, so it fits right in with the rest of my house.
• Jankovic had me teary-eyed, had me laugh out loud (which always makes my children look at me like they are planning what mental institution they are going to send me to), and had me set her book down and think, "Wow ... that is good stuff.  I need to chew on that awhile."  The next time I read it (which will be soon) I am going to have my notebook and highlighter handy, for sure.

There is only reason this book is not perfect:

• It is way too short!!!  I finished this book in less than one afternoon.  I wanted it to keep going on and on ... and it didn't.  *pout*

One immediate change that I implemented after reading this book was that I told my husband and children that I will no longer be allowed to say, "I'm stressed out", "I'm getting stressed", "I had a stressful day" or any variation on that theme.  Even when I feel that, I will no longer allow myself to think that thought through.  Read the book ... it will make sense.

If you are a mother and you have little children (Jankovic has five children five and under!), this book is a quick read that you absolutely will not regret spending an afternoon on!

The Great Chocolate Fiasco of 2011

One of the most comedic moments in my parenting career happened just the other day.  Allow me to share the laughs with you:

We had finished school for the day and it was a beautiful afternoon.  Josiah had just been nursed and was sleeping in his swing.  Abby and Corbin were outside swinging, as well.  I took about 30 minutes to spend some quality time with the two middle boys.  Daniel, Samuel, and I built some towers (and knocked them down) and read probably 4 or 5 library books.  We snuggled for a minute and then I told them to go play together for awhile.

"Ahhhh," I thought, "everyone has been fed and attended to.  This is the perfect time to go get the dishes unloaded and loaded."

I walk in the kitchen at the same time as the boys run past my feet.  I assume they are just going to run through the kitchen and into the living room (NEVER assume), so I turn my back (NEVER turn your back) and start unloading the dishwasher (NEVER unload the dis....wait, that explain a lot...).  Perhaps 2 minutes had passed at the very most when I realized it was much quieter than I would like for it to be.  All Mommies of boys know that quiet is a very bad thing ...

I start to head to the back part of the house thinking they are probably in the school room, yet again dumping out the art supplies and learning manipulatives to "do school", but realize that the sound I am hearing is them laughing and playing in their own room.

"Wow, that is great!" I think to myself.  "I really need to praise them for being so good and playing nicely together where they are supposed to be!"

(HA HA HA.  Oh, the silly things that I think in my head.)

I turn the corner to their room and am greeted by THIS:

(nether regions have been blurred for those who might be offended by male toddler nudity - something I don't even notice anymore ;)

"WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?" you might be wondering.  Well, let me tell you what went down during what we now call the Great Chocolate Fiasco of 2011.  

Daniel wanted to make a pie for his family (that boy loves pie).  Samuel wanted to help.  Samuel got the economy sized tub of Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate Powder down from my baking shelf.  Samuel stripped naked (not sure when in the lineup that happened...).  Samuel took the lid off and thought, "Mmmm....chocolate.  I'm just going to pour this whole thing in my mouth!"  Samuel dumps chocolate down his entire body.  When he realizes that it is not sweetened, he decides, "Eh, what the heck!?  Let's just make an art project out of it."  Just for the fun of it, a few more pictures:

He was ever so proud of himself.

Such an evil little laugh for such a sweet little boy!

"Did you see what I did, Mama?!  Isn't it great!!!?"

If I had thrown some sugar and flour and a few eggs in the bathwater, I'm pretty sure I could have made a cake...

He smelled so good for days ... made me want to kiss him even more :)

By far the biggest mess this Mama has ever had to clean up ... and that is saying a lot!!

The funniest thing about this whole disaster was my own reaction.  In the past when we had situations like this arise, I would usually yell or gasp or cry first, then take a few pictures, then maybe make a comment in the midst of my stressing and pouting about how SOMEDAY I will look back on this and laugh.

Not this time.  The laughter was immediate.  I'm tellin' ya ... they have made me so crazy that I now laugh at the most inappropriate times.  I walked in on those boys and laughed so hard there were tears streaming down my face, and I couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the day!  Even while I cleaned up super soft chocolate powder from a beige carpet, I laughed.  It was the best laugh I have had in a long time. :)

It made me think, and it is so much more fun to laugh about it now AND later, rather than waiting for that "someday" to come.  I did talk to the boys about how we only make pie when Mommy is helping, but I also giggled and teased and joked with them about it.  I'm hoping that when "someday" comes and we are all sitting around the table with little grandchildren running under our feet, that while I am laughing at the memory of the chocolate atomic bomb that went off in my house, my boys will be laughing at the memory of their crazy Mama laughing so hard she couldn't breathe as she is on her knees cleaning it up. :) 

THAT was a very blessed mess! :)

The Old Black Sheet

The best traditions seem to be the ones you never really intended to start.  At least that's the trend in our little clan...

Take, for example, the tradition of the Old Black Sheet photos.  What started innocently enough as Mama just snapping a few cute B&W photos of her first little baby, has morphed into a tradition that earns a place in Mama's day planner the very day a new baby is born.

There is this old black sheet.  We used it on our bed when we first got married and slept on a Queen sized bed.  When we graduated to a King sized mattress, that little sheet had no functional purposes.  One day Abby was being exceptionally cute after her bath, so I pulled out that black sheet and used it as the backdrop for some nekkid black and white baby photos.  Abby was two months old when I did this.  I had a black photo collage frame that held 8-4x6's, so I put the photos into that and hung it on our wall. Now, at two months old, every new member of our clan goes through this rite of passage and there is a designated wall just for these photos.  I just love this tradition!!

Hundreds and hundreds of photos have been snapped, but I'd like to share one favorite from each of the kids:

My Adorable Abby:

My Cowboy Corbin:

My Darling Daniel:

My Silly Samuel:

And introducing the wall's newest addition....

My Joyful Josiah:

Who knew so much love, joy, and laughter could be wrapped up in one little, faded, old black sheet!

How Quickly the Mess Multiplies

I swear the house was clean just yesterday.  I swear it was.  Now I can't find my own foot, much less the floor.

How does it happen that quickly!?!

Well, let's break it down and figure it out.

Day 1 (morning) - Thing 1 and Thing 2 (Daniel and Samuel's new nicknames ... they are into everything these days and work together as a team) and baby Josiah take naps while Mommy and the older two do school.

Day 1 (early afternoon) - Mommy cleans the house.  Mommy feels good about getting the house so clean AND getting everyone's schoolwork done that she decides to take a little break and read a book.

Day 1 (afternoon) - While Mommy is reading, Thing 1 and Thing 2 go into the school room and dump out every single manipulative and art supply we own.

Day 1 (afternoon - five minutes later) - Mommy is reorganizing the school room, so Thing 1 and Thing 2 go into the living room and dump out the laundry that she just took out of the dryer so they can push each other across the floor in the basket.

Day 1 (afternoon - ten minutes after that) - Mommy finishes organizing the school room but leaves the clothes on the living room floor while she goes to nurse the baby, make lunch, and do some diaper changes.  Meanwhile, as Mommy nurses, Abby and Corbin are building with wooden blocks in the middle of the dining area.  Thing 2 wants to knock down their towers.  Corbin gets angry when his tower is knocked down and walks away, blocks still spread across the dining area.  Thing 1 goes back  into the schoolroom to dump out the math manipulatives so he can do "school".  Thing 2 gets bored with terrorizing the wooden block city and dumps out half of the bag of trash Mommy sat by the door but hadn't had a chance to take to the road.

Day 1 (lunch time) Mommy serves Things 1-4 their lunches and then sits down to nurse Thing 5.  Things 1-4 have various spills and accidents, leaving puddles of milk, broken pretzels, bread crumbs, and chunks of apple on the floor, chairs, and table (and themselves).

Day 1 (who knows how much time has passed - Mommy is running around like a mad woman) - Mommy has to get dinner started before Daddy comes home, as there are errands to run in the evening.  While Mommy is putting the stew on and holding the baby, Things 1-4 decide to build a train with EVERY SINGLE CHAIR, STOOL, BOX, BASKET, or MOVEABLE ITEM IN THE HOUSE.

Day 1 (Daddy comes home *insert Hallelujah chorus here*) - Daddy steps over the chaos of the house and comes to kiss Mommy, who pouts because Daddy never got to see how clean the house was.

Day 1 (evening) - Family loads up to go get camping supplies and winter clothes out of storage.  While Mommy puts Things 1-5 to bed, Daddy unloads everything from the car into the middle of the living room.  Mommy and Daddy are exhausted and fall in bed the second Things 1-5 are confirmed as sleeping soundly.

Day 2 (morning) - Mommy scratches her head and wonders if she just imagined cleaning the house the day before ... because looking around you will see: wooden blocks spread throughout the house, the schoolroom with little pieces spread everywhere, trash dumped out in the entry way, clean laundry spread all over the living room, boxes and tubs and camping bags stacked in the living room, and chairs, boxes, stools and random objects lined up throughout the house.  To the parent who has 1 or 2 or even 3 small children, this looks like a mess that would take several days without picking up to create.  Most parents would look at the mess and think Mommy of five was lazy.  But when you have four little ones AND a nursing newborn, the mess multiplies exponentially!                                                      

So, the moral of this story is multi-fold:

1. Have a TV.  Kids being creative and thinking for themselves is overrated.  Please don't be stupid like me and sacrifice your very sanity for what you believe in most.  There is something to this whole "vegetable in front of the TV" movement ...

2.  Do not clean your house when you have small children.  Wait.  Wait until they are 20 and have their own places to dirty.  THEN find your floors and rejoice in the fact that they will never get lost again.

3.  Do not read a book, take a breath, take a bathroom break, or look way for more than 20 second intervals.  To do so is asking for disaster.

and lastly,

4.  Ignore morals 1-3. :)  Yes if you have your kids at home it will be messy; if you have your kids play instead of watching TV it will be messy; if you clean, it will be messy shortly thereafter; and if you take a breath you are asking for a mess ... but it is all worth it!  Every single multiplying mess is worth it :)

With multiplying children come multiplying messes.

But also with multiplying children comes multiplying love.

And the love always outweighs the messes! :)

Driveway Camping, Part 2

Phil and the kids are all sound asleep now, but I just can't get myself to go to bed! It feels weird having all of my "chicks" not in their usual nesting spots. 


Phil, Abby, and Corbin are in the trailer. 


Daniel was lonely without Abby and Corbin, so I put him in my bed. 


Samuel was lonely without Daniel, so he came out and fell asleep in the recliner in the living room. 


Josiah is in his crib (he usually sleeps by my side) because Daniel is a restless sleeper and I am worried he will roll over on him. 


Everybody is sleeping peacefully where they are, but I just feel ... I don't know ... WEIRD!  Nobody is where they should be.  I am accustomed to walking through the house before I go to bed, double checking that every child is asleep where they should be and the doors are locked to keep them in and anything else out. Now, however, two of my chicks ARE out! Locking the doors almost felt wrong! I normally am a great sleeper ... the only thing that can wake me up is the sound of a kid. But now, I can't even get myself to go to bed, much less sleep!!

I am sure this all sounds silly ... but it is nearly 1:30am and I really should have been asleep 4 hours ago! Forgive the rambling! 


I don't know how mommies who have grown children ever get any sleep!!!