Lazy Man's Alarm Clock

I can say with all certainty that one big path to my husband's heart runs through his stomach.  The path to his brain also might detour through his stomach.  And I'm pretty sure there are a couple of other parts that take that route as well.

Whoever said men are complicated creatures must not have been able to cook.

When you have a husband whose job depends on having daylight to work by, getting him out the door in a timely manner is vital.  Sometimes, especially when you are married to a man who works such a physically demanding job, getting him up in the morning can be a challenge.  And so, let me introduce to you....*drum roll please*.....

THE LAZY MAN'S ALARM CLOCK!

Step 1.  Nudge the husband as you get out of bed (Not too hard, you don't want sleeping beauty to turn into sleeping grumpy!).

Step 2.  Get a pot of strong coffee brewing, and announce to husband that "Coffee is ready!" (It isn't actually ready yet, but there is no worry that he will jump out of bed before it is, so this little white lie is a forgivable and acceptable tactic).

Step 3.  Give husband a kiss, pull the covers off, and nicely roll him out of bed (Ignore all attempts to sweet talk, woo, or seduce at this point.  They are merely diversionary, as the husband will do anything at this stage to not have to get out of bed).

Step 4.  Get breakfast started.  Watch out, as husband will most likely fall asleep on the couch, floor, or table since he knows you are distracted.  Husband is not actually awake at this stage, but merely sleep walking.  If you ask him to check on a child, he will end up sleeping in that child's bed. Keep a close eye on him, or else you will have to start sending in the troops to find out where Daddy fell asleep.

Step 5.  Cook a breakfast no man could resist: 

bacon,

farm fresh eggs,

and cinnamon/brown sugar/vanilla french toast made with fresh eggs and homemade wheat bread.

  

If all goes as planned, husband will return from whatever sleepy corner he has crawled into approximately two minutes after the bacon starts sizzling.

Step 6.  Fight off any advances from husband while near hot bacon grease.  Don't forget that the path to your husband's, errrm, heart takes a direct route through his stomach.  Hand husband hot coffee and make him sit at table.

Step 7. Feed husband.  You should now be seeing signs of life and eyelids should be remaining open the majority of the time. 

Success!!

If your husband is like mine, and good, home-cooked, country-style meals make him go all googly-eyed like when you first met, then gifts such as this:

will start mysteriously showing up when he comes home from work in the evenings!

I think he is just bribing me for more food.

It is working.

=)