Do you ever walk to a certain part of the house, only to realize that in the 20 seconds it took you to get there you have completely forgotten why on earth you were headed in that direction in the first place? If you are lucky you will have something in your hands to tip you off as to what you might have been doing a half a minute earlier. If not, it's back to the drawing board, only to remember what it was you were doing the second you get back to the other side of the house. If you haven't experienced this, please just politely nod your head so I won't feel crazy. Thank you.
It has been so much fun watching my younger sisters become moms, because now I have someone to feel crazy with! One of my sisters has dubbed her memory lapses a "curtain across my brain." She'll start saying or doing something, forget, and then say, "sorry, my curtain went up." I love it, because I think my curtain has permanently been up for the last five years. What can I say; misery loves company!
I have had an article about just this phenomenon saved forever, and I love to read it every now and then to remind myself that I'm not alone behind this curtain of scatterbrainedness (I though I had just invented that word, until I Googled it and saw that -- ironically enough -- many a mother before me has penned it to describe her fuzzy brain state).
Wait...what was I saying again? Oh yeah...the article. I wish I could find out who the author was -- but I'm sure even if I found her name, my curtain would go up long before I'd get a chance to write it down....
I don't think it had a title when I originally read it (or if it did I forgot it...imagine that!), so I have it labeled as:
"Why My House is Dirty"
(Author Unknown)
"I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the basement, I notice that there are cheerios all over the floor and my house keys are in the cereal bowl. I decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry. I lay my keys down on the counter, put the cheerios in the trash can under the counter, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to take out the trash. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off thetable, and see that there is only one check left, my extra checks are in my desk in the office, so I go to my desk where I find a sippy cup full of juice. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I decide I should put the sippy cup in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup a plant on the counter catches my eye--it needs to be watered. I set the sippy cup on the counter, and I discover baby wipes that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back in the bathroom, but first I'm going to water the plants. I set the wipes back down, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote, left on the kitchen table. I realize that when I go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the plants. I splash some water on the plant, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down, get some paper towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: the laundry isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the plants aren't watered, there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find the wipes, and I don't remember what I did with my keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail."
PREACH IT, SISTER!
What's even better is when your husband walks in, exhausted from a day of hard, obviously PRODUCTIVE labor, and you can tell he is wondering why on earth you seem so tired, too (even though he is smart enough to know not to say anything). Hey, just because I wasn't that productive doesn't mean I didn't work. The simple act of attempting to work is work in and of itself when you have a herd of toddlers tagging along on your heels and undoing everything you just did!
One of the biggest hurdles for me to get over as a stay-at-home mother was the feeling that nothing I ever did was productive. I clean the toilets; a two year old boy misses. I wash the dishes; we eat thirty minutes later and the sink is full. I get all the laundry folded; a four year old girl plays dress-up and unfolds everything in her drawers. I have told my husband on many occasions in the past that this has to be the most mind-numbingly repetitive job on the face of God's green earth! My biggest temptation was always to throw my hands up and say, "What's the point!?", leaving things in a mess because I knew they would get back to that point no matter how hard I worked.
For me, I'm finding that the joy has to be in the process, not in the results. The results vary and are often short-lived, but the work is always there to be done. Doing the dishes is not about having an empty sink, but about serving my family and my Lord in the smallest of tasks. If I only pick up toys to have a clean floor, there is never any reward or motivation to do so again. But if I pick those toys up as an act of service, the reward is joy overflowing, an eternal reward beyond anything tangible this world could offer.
So I will keep sweeping up the green beans, even as my 14-month-old throws more down just because he can. The point is not to have a clean floor (because I'm fairly certain my grout will never be any shade close to white again), but a clean heart. There can be no perfection in a home this full of little ones, but there is perfection in the grace of Christ, and a peace that surpasses all understanding!
Now...what was I supposed to be doing next......?
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